even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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