didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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