Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
