nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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