My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
