so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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