My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
