My nipple is on Facebook.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i've created a new STD.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
