Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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