5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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