what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
