So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
