another moral hangover. fuck.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
