Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it was like eating out sand paper
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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