so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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