Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize