Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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