i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
