Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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