OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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