no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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