he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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