sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
