I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
