Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
