You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
please come you make the beer taste better
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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