Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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