It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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