she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
