But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm getting married
To pizza
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
