My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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