He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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