Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
