Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you win again, gameday.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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