I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
