Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
