I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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