i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
