im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
