When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
