we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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