I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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