Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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