if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
