i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Couch. On fire.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
