I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
