I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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