Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
