dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
