ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
