we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
