My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
