I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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