jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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