My room smells like vodka and shame
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
